And this came through

I spent the weekend in the best possible way. Spirit Weavers Gathering with my mother and daughter. One highlight was a writing workshop facilitated by the beautiful and wise Giselle Buchanan. Here is what came through. It is deeply personal and I share it with you from my heart.

Gratitude

I am grateful for warm watery vegetable soup and milky Pero

I am grateful I lost my children and my religion and my home

I had to find myself again

I was thrown out of my paradigm with these loses. And when I was about to get comfortable in my middle class home in Belmont MA

I found myself living in a van

Spending my days walking in the woods or doing some kind of yoga

I am grateful that I lost my social position

A strong woman in my church and community because only after living as a single homeless woman did I see privilege and societal position.

I was suddenly someone people questioned rather than looked up to.

And I had to look deep inside and ask who I am. What makes me valuable? What is life?

Now that I see the illusion what do I become?

My loss taught me to question everything

Nothing is true until my heart says it is true

And I saw how much I cling to external things. How much I need my story; to orient me. And I realized I am more than my story.

I am deep divine waters. My yearnings are divine. My desires are the creator moving through to continue life.

I am grateful for cold. It forces me to see how I cling to comfort. And how my quest for comfort keeps me small.

Cold reminds me I am much more than this experience. I am deep. I am the source of my own wellness. I am the treasure trove. I am all the wealth and through leaving comfort behind I begin to find MY resources.

I bow in humility at the vast greatness of the universe. I bow to myself.

I am grateful for warm watery vegetable soup and milky Pero.

What I believe

I believe in new beginnings where I forget old hurts or trauma or wrong. I wake up and smile.

I have my breath. My body continues to be with me through all of this.

I am

I continue. I am the one who rode her bicycle across America. I have been praised. I have been honored. I have been spat upon and scorned. I have been cursed at and hated. I have been neglected. I have been hit. I have been abused and subjugated.

I rise. I return. I regrow. I birth myself anew.

I am magnificent. I am all love. I can access that power to let go. I am the great release. I release you of the abuse and shame and grief you handed me or shared with me.

I am a daughter. I suck at it but I am still a daughter. My mother rejects me; my parts that don’t uphold the patriarchy. Keep me quiet, Well behaved and Obedient. And yet I came through her.

I find life. I live. I have joy in living.

I bestow myself on life and it sings or mourns but I am.

I am that

I am this woman

Looking for the pure way to be: to live outside in daily life how purely I experience myself.

I am pure and whole and alive. Full of love. I am that

And I want to share it with you

But when I speak you turn away or shout at me

I believe I am here to learn. I have a reason to be here. My “mistakes” are my teachers. I am here to experience.

Woman is so much more powerful than we give her credit. She can create life. She can bring it forth. She does not need the medical industrial complex.

Not to tell her what to do

Not to deliver her child

Not to teach her, educate her or her child

Women have wisdom of a higher way

Together as we awake to what we hold we can join together and manifest the beautiful peaceful world.

This is my work: I manifest subtle peace to physical being.

I have attracted this. My mother here. My daughter here. My feminine facilitator here.

I am here on purpose. We are here to heal ourselves and our hearts.

It is not too late to live differently. To let go of the pain and trauma we endured living in and under the patriarchy.

We can rise. I believe our power is what will deliver ourselves and our loved ones.

We are the Savior. It is there inside our very own heart. That “Light of Christ” It is our light our truth our strength to claim.

I believe in being vulnerable. I believe in showing up. Being honest. Transparent. Real. My truth and your truth can harmoniously coexist

I believe education is dangerous. I believe it is most important now to learn/remember how to listen to our own hearts.

I love my heart. I would like free access to my hidden sacred heart place.

I believe I am entitled to explore my truth to share it and heal myself and the world.